“Hmmm,” Diana said, frowning. “Your wardrobe needs a makeover.”When it comes to style, I like to keep it simple. I have a closet full of brown-check shirts. When I need to kick it up a notch, I’ve got a brown check with a thin red stripe. I know, I know, I’m thinking peacock. You’re thinking hedgehog. But I feel like America’s next top model in that shirt.
So I made a rare pilgrimage to a men’s clothing store earlier this week. I was ready to embrace my inner dandy. A paisley pocket square? Bring it on. I was a man on a mission.
All my gusto fizzled after a half-hour in a retail abyss. I wandered around helplessly, ignored by three salesmen. Two were studying their cell phones. One was fussing over a rainbow of ties on a table. I cleared my throat to get someone’s attention.
Mr. Fussy finally wandered over, trailing a nimbus of cheap cologne, a tape measure around his neck. He cut me off as I was explaining my mission and started plucking shirts, pants and ties in every color from every table. At one point, he paused and hollered across the room: “Hey, buddy, what size are you?”
What? Okay, I work out, though maybe not as much as in my twenties. I’m a fortysomething dad. I take my Patriots with a side of beer and pizza. Do I want to shout out my size? Would that ever happen in the dress department at Nordstrom? “Looking’ a little broad in the beam there, madam. What are you – a 16?”
In the dressing room, the salesman tried to talk me into a purple striped shirt with a black tie. I looked like a thug. Next came the stovepipe pants, apparently a thing this winter in Soho. I looked like Honest Abe. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, mission not accomplished.
Which makes me realize the importance of good sales staff. I came to the store hoping to find someone help me nudge my personal fashion dial very slightly to the left. A good salesman would have listened carefully, sized up my conservative fashion sensibilities, and made some sensitive suggestions. Ultimately, he would have rung up a big sale.
Tis’ the season to shop – and we’ve all got some stories about the best and worst of the retail experience. So vent with me! Drop me a note about your shopping miracles and nightmares. We’ll all have a good laugh. And we’re always looking for ways to improve the customer experience at FCG. Your feedback will help.
