Our Christmas tree is shedding its needles. Our dog has chewed to bits his pull toy. And I've been navigating a warzone in my house ever since Christmas. Robbie, our nine-year-old, had asked Santa for artillery for his NerfBlaster, and he got plenty. When you're the youngest of three boys, Santa knows you need good weaponry and lots of ammo.
Christmas is over. Peace on earth? Goodwill to men? Not at the Fruccis. Nerf-armed and dangerous, Robbie is determined to develop his skills as an expert marksman. We're all targets, except for his mom. I think she gets a pass because she's the one who bakes the brownies.
Yesterday, I walked into my local bank with pock marks on my forehead. Nerf bullets were stuck to my jacket. I had the dodgy, haunted look of someone who knew he had a bull's-eye on his back. My regular teller gave me a dubious look. "Happy New Year?" she said hesitantly.
I hope I make it to 2018. With only three more days left till school starts, our little sharpshooter won't be slacking off. I might have to declare the living room a DMZ – at least for an hour to take down the tree. New Year's Resolution #1: Nerf gun control.
Now that the busy Christmas season is over, I suggest we all take a deep breath first before we leap into January. Meander over to FCG this weekend to take advantage of our coupon: one item at 20% off, good through New Year's Day. Our stores are guaranteed Nerf-free.